, ,


Remember that silly thing we used to do, keeping time to the point of outright conducting the Star Trek Next Generation theme with our feet, getting more and more raucous with the musical crescendos until the finale when we’d send our feet crashing into each other and giggling uproariously at our child play. Yeah, I still do that, just without the chorus of giggles at the end, and I see your feet.

We finally have Netflix. When you said you thought we’d like Star Trek Enterprise, you were right. You’d have loved it. They took the opening sequence straight out of your head. Long after you might have gotten bored with the episodes, you’d have still tuned in to see the opening. All the things you loved about the history of the space program and your dreams for the future are all there except one. I can hear you complaining “And WHERE is the X-15??” Thanks to you, I noticed that glaring omission by myself on the very first episode I watched.

I finally started getting back in the pool, but I find it’s about deadly dull in there now. I pretty much just do my exercises and cool off. I haven’t gotten out any of the pool toys and the noodles are still in the hall closet where we left them the end of last summer. It’s kind of pointless to have a seahorse race with just one entrant, or torpedo battles with no one to sink or be sunk by. The stealthy ninja tiger shark is still hibernating in the patio cabinet because there’s no one to sneak up on. Even the pretty pool disco lights haven’t been out this year because there’s no big back to swim under them to provide wide screen kaleidoscope viewing.

I finally started reading a little again. Remember how we used to fantasize about 24 hour book stores? Remember how I had a massive migraine one night while living in Montana and you read “Long Dark Teatime of the Soul” to me long distance? Yeah, AT&T loved us. Their stock probably dipped significantly when I moved down here. I haven’t been able to sit still long enough to read more than recipe or project instructions. I can get through a whole chapter, sometimes two, without the sudden urge to get up and wander. I still plug myself into my iPod at night to listen to Harry Potter books, but now it’s not because I want to be told a bedtime story, it’s to drown out my own internal screaming.

Did I just hear you say “Blattner”? I still call them Home Despot, Dead Robin and Ten Minute. You’re still in everything, every day and when I’m alone I find my outside voice saying “Oh god I love you so much!” to the dashboard, the ceiling, the walls and the sky.